Socialites: Do they suck or not

Posted: June 4, 2009 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

So I already pretty much introduced the idea behind the topic in my last post. We’re discussing so-called “socialites,” and specifically black female middle to upper class women who use that term to define themselves. I think they should stop.

Wikipedia Definition: A socialite is a person who is known to be a part of fashionable high society because of his or her regular participation in social activities and fondness for spending a significant amount of time entertaining and being entertained. Some socialites may choose to use their social skills and connections to promote and raise funds for various charitable or philanthropic activities. Socialites are usually in possession of considerable wealth, whether gained by inheritance or otherwise, that can sustain their steady attendance at social functions. Their social movements have been published in the UK’s Tatler magazine and they might be listed in features such as the Social Register of the United States.

Nothing wrong with that, right? Charity? Entertainment? Woo-hoo! Here’s the thing. Almost every time I’ve heard someone use the phrase, it comes off as social-climbing self-aggrandizement. Definition-wise, are most of these people possessed of considerable wealth? NO. Their parents might have a little dough, but the vast majority of women I know below the age of 27 really don’t have shit. There are certainly exceptions, but for the most part, unless you’ve really gone left with your career choice and hit a lick, you’re living slightly better than check to check after paying off your school loans, rent/mortgage, car, utilities, and Louis V shopping sprees. Throw in a robust social life of meals at the best restaurants, VIP access, and bottle service, and  you may very well be running a deficit.

And number 2: Charity. Since most of these people don’t have any money anyway, it’s usually pretty silly to be going on about how that $50 you spent to go to a party is realy going to help some Zamundan child find clean water.

So, you’re not rich, you’re not that much of a philanthropist, what’s the deal?

The deal is you need social affirmation to feel good about yourselves. Which is the saddest thing in the world.Frankly, I blame Twitter. Here’s why. Myspace allowed everyone to create their own online persona which was much grander than real life. And it allowed people to share in each other’s bullshit fantasies and build them up to immense proportions. Facebook kinda dialed it back to reality again. But Twitter provides the best kind of false intimacy. You get real time status updates as to what celebrities are doing. Make no mistake: Twitter is the biggest thing to happen to groupiedom since, well, groupies. Take a look at some of your friends’ tweets, Notice they’re always replying back to @iamdiddy or @questlove or @whoeverthefuck? And the celebrities feed into it. If they’re at Santos on Friday, youll get a tweet from @Qtiptheabstract. Then notice how you’ll get like three tweets from socialites:

At Santos: chillin’ with @iamdiddy and @qtiptheabstract

So by association, you’ve now supposedly upgraded your own social status. Which to me, just doesn’t seem that important.

But off my twitter tangent. I love twitter. It’s great. And I’m proud to say I unfollowed Diddy long before the whole unfollow Diddy movement became popular. That fool was just annoying.

What kills me is the women who do all this, and then complain about not being able to find a good dude. Ladies,  you’re single because you’re not looking for a good dude. You’re looking for a good time. And while the two of those don’t have to be mutually exclusive, the truth is most of the dudes who are also looking for a good time are not looking to have you ruin their good time by locking them down. And most good dudes don’t have the time or the energy to put up with women that know everyone and want everyone to know them. That’s built in Broadway-grade drama. By investing yourself in a strictly social scene, you’re also investing yourself in meaningless beefs over perceived slights with other women, a bunch of dudes who you’ve either kicked it with or want to kick it with following you around, and a back and forth bartering of social favors (you getting them on a list, them introducing you to so and so, etc.)


It’s childish. The time for you all to be social climbing is over. You are who you are. Let your accomplishments speak for themselves, not what circles you run in. Thank you, this has been a PSA from B.St. R

“I got this model chick that don’t cook or clean
But she dress her ass off and her walk is mean
Only thing wrong with ma she’s always on the scene
God damn she’s fine but she parties all the time”

-Hov, “Girls, Girls, Girls”

  1. Daydreamer says:

    Ok, so I have uber Twitter tendencies BUT I totally don’t RT or @ who I’m ‘with’ or next to at the party. And note, I’ve never been to Santos- so ha! But some women seek to be seen and known. As women we may have ‘socialite’ tendencies but the degree and TYPE of socialite matters most. I am sure many of these “new age, I just learned what I socialite is by watching The Real Housewives of _____ and now I want to be like her” don’t really understand what it means to embody the entire socialite term. They just see the money, 12 ft pool and soriees and want an in. But truth is, like you said, a RT isn’t gonna get you there. However, most women want to reach a certain attainable level of success and want to be applauded for it. Applauds may come as a respectable 30 Under 30 Award for some and for others the applaud is a RT of the of being in the VIP with @Kanye. Potato. Potato. The problem exists when her face becomes synonymous with the chick in the ‘CLUBPLANET’ pics or when she constantly stops for the random photo guy flash-pausing like the ‘razzi is on her and now claims to be a socialite… no Boo socialite you are not! She makes me smh!

  2. Daydreamer says:

    Let me add that a socialite- a real one- will get her status by raising loads of money for said charity, smoozing with the PTA moms and winning PTA President/ Mom of the year or simply walking softly and carrying a big stick. A Socialite is NOT a bad thing but imposters who fake with the ‘stauts’ over a RT are. I’d love to be a socialite one day. No, I won’t RT it nor will I FB it. It’ll be seen in a headline of my local newspaper the night following my grand fundraiser for the chairty of my choice. smh to all the imposters…#fail.

  3. Sounds like Daydreamer has it right!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s