That’s a dealbreaker, ladies! (Dudes too)

Posted: June 9, 2009 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Click picture to take the quiz

Click picture to take the quiz

So I’m in NY with two of my female besties walking around after a long day of day drinking. I highly recommend the lobby at the Parker Meridien. That place is like the Royal Tenembaums movie come to life. Weird, weird people with lots of money and deep fried olives. Also, the W on Lexington Avenue has a Sunday party in one of their suites. It was kind of blah when we went, but it was the first one, so I expect it’s just growing pains. Get on the list. In any case, so we walk by the NBC shop, and see that they’re selling t-shirts with “That’s a dealbreaker, ladies!” printed on them. If you watch 30 Rock, you get it, if you don’t , I won’t bother to explain. But this of course led to a discussion of what our personal dealbreakers were. One of the girls is in the midst of a divorce process right now so she’s uniquely qualified to comment. Here’s their rundown as I remember it.

Women’s Dealbeakers:

-Neck Tattoos

-Overly Thirsty

-No ambition

-Over 30 and work in retail

-More than one kid from a baby mama (wife ok)

-Possessive

There are more, but the cocktails had started to kick in by then so I don’t remember them all. Which led me to think about my dealbreakers. So here’s a brief list

Physical dealbreakers:

-Neck tattoos

-Really bad skin

-National Geographic Titties

So I could give those titties 4 thumbs down!

So I could give those titties 4 thumbs down!

-N’assatal

Personality Dealbreakers

-Unkind

-No sense of humor

-Takes themselves too seriously

-Takes what other people think too seriously

Concurrently, I just noticed Belle is doing a blog on settling. Which does beg the question, how reasonable are most people’s dealbreakers?  How reasonable are some of mine? I mean, what if I meat an artist who has a neck tat? And she’s really successful and good at what she does, so it’s not like her neck tat is hlding back her career. Do I throw her back into the bin because she’ll look out of place at cocktail parties? Or what if I fall in love with an Indian girl? While I think there are some really attractive Indian and Asian women, and they tend to be very well educated and wordly, that n’assatall is a pandemic in that part of the world. Like Swine Flu or something. I really don’t know that I can bend on the personality dealbreakers but that’s what it is.

And what about people who have unreasoanabel dealbreakers. Girls 4’11” who won’t date a guy who’s not 6’2″? Or guys who only date women who pass the Yung Berg Pool test? Fat people who would only date skinny people? At what point do we let people have their preferences and when do we just slap them about the fat meat on their neck and tell them to get reasonable? What are your dealbreakers, folks? And would you bend on them for someone who met all your other criteria? I heard once that the great things in your life aren’t a product of the rules, but rather, the exceptions. I think I might agree.

Faithfully yours

Brandon St. Randy


Comments
  1. Wes says:

    on the nat geographic tits you simply mean you don’t like dd’s and above because they typically don’t point straight if they are natural. What will you do when you wife’s breasts start to sag after breastfeeding or age, etc.?

  2. Wes:

    Don’t get me wrong. I heart tig ol’ bitties. And lil’ ol bitties too. But I have to disagree with you. Having had quite a few experiences with women DD (real) and above, the correlation between breast size and saggery is overstated. I know a few girls with lil saggy boobies and some girls with great big juggs that stand at attention. If you’re under 35, I’m just really not feeling sagging breasts. That’s just me. I understand and appreciate that things change with age. Which is why man invented gyms and breast lifts.

  3. Wes says:

    agreed. But I need proof that natural DD will stand at attention w/o a bra and when laying down. If a women can hold a pencil under her breast then that means her breast sag lol!

  4. “If a women can hold a pencil under her breast then that means her breast sag lol!”

    Le vomit.

  5. anonymous says:

    While I am certainly not gonna take a pic I will have to defend myself and more than a few others. I have had DD since I was about 17 and mine do not sag, whether I am laying down or standing. I cannot wholeheartedly say that will be the case after I’ve nursed some babies but for now my puppies remain at attention

    • anonymous says:

      I forgot my deal breakers, lol

      -Men under 6 ft (I am 5’7″ and with heels 5’10″+)
      -No ambition
      -Men older than my momma
      -Republicans
      -No sense of humor
      -Momma’s boys
      -Illegitimate income. Do you pay taxes?

  6. Dear Anon:

    I mean, pictures really would help. Rrrreeeeeeeaaallly help.

    Yours,

    B St. R

  7. Dealbreakers:

    Physical and non-

    Under 6 ft. I’m about 5’10 in flats. I will continue to wear heels
    Small hands
    Super-long pimp fingernails
    Not a Christian
    Unemployed for GP
    Tatted on the neck
    permed hair or any variation of it (the Sisqo)
    Gold teeth, fronts, etc.
    Black, smoked out lips Ew!

    I’m sure there are few more, but that’s basically it.

  8. No DJ Quik for you, huh, Southern_Lady.

    I actually forgot a couple

    -Jelly Belly: This is actually one of my top physical dealbreakers.
    -Big ass eyes: Perfect Example: Tracey Ellis Ross: Tall, unbeleivable body, smart, kind-seeming, but I just can’t get past them big ass eyes of hers. She looks like she’s always surprised.
    –Certain combinations of sunglasses and big, logo-emblazoned handbags: Just screams sketchy to me, probably the way an iced out watch and grills might seem to some women

  9. SMH at the titties.

    No dating you then

    After a year of breastfeeding these puppies are not where they used to be…but only the 24 year old I dated “complained” about it.

    U must not date women with kids much.

    Which would also disqualify me…but I digress.

    Deal Breakers
    – no formal education
    – heavy into video games
    – jiggly belly
    – lacking of ambition
    – not financial stable

  10. D says:

    Dealbreakers
    * a waistline over 40 inches
    * coarse hair
    * bad credit
    * no motivation, lacks goals

  11. D says:

    no, I like the whole spectrum of colors BM come in. Soft,silky hair isn’t exclusive to Al B. Sure types!!!!

  12. ebwriter says:

    Controlling, Selfish, A hater, Unreliable, No ambition, Bad hygiene, Terrible lover, Smokes, Can’t hold down a job, Momma’s boy, etc. I could go on and on. LOL

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