Delusions of Grandeur

Posted: June 10, 2009 in Uncategorized

As some of you may know, I’ve been on an anti-swagger campaign pretty much since it got popular. Now that old spice ha a deodorant named Swagger, I think we can safely agree that swagger is the current version of “Whoomp, There It Is.”

Swagger!

Swagger!

Yes, the term is overplayed, but more importantly, so’s the concept. I’ll explain: Here are the typical markers of swagger based on my unscientific observation of people that seem real pressed to use the term: Swagger is an expression of confidence that frequently strays into arrogance territory and is typically extremely inflated. Thus, in addition to the delusions of grandeur it embodies, it’s also very fragile. A lot of the “swagger” I’ve seen is the result of external forces: Got a new car, get some swagger; got some fresh skinny jeans, now you may have swagger. I associate swagger these days with big sunglasses worn at night and an insufferable sense of self importance that relies on the perceived inadequacies of others.

This is all somewhat ironic, of course, because I’ve been told since I was in late high school that I had swagger. I think people back then were specifically referring to my walk, which had a bit much pimp roll to it back then. When women are asked what they find attractive about me, they’ll often use “swagger” as a default word. I disagree. But that’s beside the point.

My issue with the swagger movement is the value it places on absolutely nothing. Look at Jim Jones, the poster child for swagger because of his generally nonchalant arrogance and contempt for others. I posted the video to show you what our version of swagger at its core looks like. Not pretty, eh? What about that dirty muthafucka should we actually be celebrating? Professionally, he’s not that good at what he does. At best, he’s a middle of the road rapper. He’s not particularly rich as far as I can tell. At least the sales figures wouldn’t point to him making an inordinate amount of money via music. So why all the puffed up self-confidence? I’ll wait.

Simple. Delusions of Grandeur. Jones and his ilk are basically harvesting glory from glory. They’re not basing their “swag” on accomplishments, they’re basing their swag on, well, swag. It’s almost like being famous for being famous.

So how does this relate to relationships? Well, simple: it destroys them. Think about it. The whole premise of swag is basically that “I’m so fly, I don’t need you.” If anything, the premise says that you (the general you) are below me anyway. And women loooooove it. The number one reason black women between the ages of 19 and 34 declined a guy’s advances according to a 2009 St. Randy and Associates poll was “lack of swagger.” I’ve heard this so many times, I just tune out when I hear it expressed that way or differently. A female friend of mine (who is completely swaggerless hersel)f recently dumped a guy because he “wasn’t exciting enough” for her (Read not swagtastic enough). Fortunately, some other woman figured it out quick and now he’s engaged. Meanwhile, she’s reconsidering all her motives for letting him go. The thing is, people, the very things that constitute swagger typically make someone a fairly poor choice for a mate. Someone with an inflated ego probably doesn’t see you as an equal, they assume they’re your superior and thus that you are replacable.

“I don’t love em, I fuck em

I don’t chase, I duck em

I replace em with another one”

-Hov-

And with this ego also comes the idea that they deserve better than you. By better, I mean better looking. And they can have better than you because swagger is so in demand that there’s a line forming around the block to get into Swagnificent’s skinny jeans and rip off his Christian Audiger t-shirt.

Don’t think for a moment I’m just speaking about black males. Trust me, this infectious pox has taken over the world of womenfolk just as quickly. It just manifests itself in different ways. It’s the girl that’s a six who demands that she be taken on vacations and shown the “finer things in life.” It’s the snorting dismissal of male suitors. It’s the idea that anyone who’s taken a picture with a bikini on and had it airbrushed is now a “model.” It’s the idea that you have so much swagger that you can’t date anyone with less swagger.

So what happens when you have two people who have grandiose visins of who they are coupled with an inability to do all the things that swagger forbids: apologize, suck it up, put others first, let someone else have their way, risk embarassment by going out on a limb, etc..?

You tell me.

Comments
  1. Sleek Kid says:

    I Can’t tell you how accurate is that post brother! But don’t forget the more you image and stimulate a line between kinds and genres of people the more the ones who are deep enough in the bad side will prone and celebrate that Difference. In other words brother Don’t let it get to you, swagger can be bought or shared by unwanted people arround the world… But who you truly are, That Cant Be touched! THAT’S WAY MORE IMPORTANT OR EXTRAVAGANT THAN SWAGGER TRUST ME!!!

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