It feels good! Yeaaah!

Posted: September 8, 2009 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

So in the spirit of making Mondays more pleasant (Or Tuesdays in this case, what with the holiday and all) we take a break from the usual negativity and “what we don’t like about (insert behavior here) to focus on the fun stuff. Today’s topic. Things that you do that make us feel good.

1. Smile

Im smiling because Im happy. And I have a contact high.

I'm smiling because I'm happy. And I have a contact high.

Yeah, I dare you to give that look to Chris Brown.

Yeah, I dare you to give that look to Chris Brown.

This has been discussed ad nauseum on every dating board or blog since the interweb was invented, but it’s true. Which one of the two women above would you prefer to be around? I even made them roughly the same color so y’all light skinned aficionados wouldn’t have an excuse. People like it when you smile at them. You ever smiled at a baby? They smile back and everyone feels all good. When you meet someone for a business negotiation, and shake their hand, you know what people do? They smile. Even if they’re about to rip your company into shreds, sell off the pieces and enslave you. But we’re a mean-mugging people. The world is cold and we don’t want to be bothered, so we mean mug. Or we want to act like we’re too cool for school so we stand there with that nonchalant, slightly distant look of disinterest which says, “I’d rather be playing polo with the President of Uruguay as I usually do on Tuesdays but unfortunately, he was knifed to death in a coup, so I have to sit around at this boring happy hour with you assholes. Drat.” At the end of the day, it really just makes other people feel good. And more importantly, it makes them feel good about YOU. So you’re the real winner here.

2. Are engaged We know there are better looking, more important people at the party. We get that. Shawn Merriman’s over in a VIP booth and you’re the type of chick that kinda digs getting choked out by people with league contracts. Still, we find it nice when you acknowledge us and show an interest. We know, you’re deathly afraid we might misinterpret this general niceness of yours with you being interested in us, but it’s OK. We won’t wilt up and die if you’re just being nice. Same goes for when we’re talking to one of your friends we both know. It’s OK for you to participate in the conversation since you’re standing right there and can clearly hear every word.

I mean, Id have sex for wings. Just saying...

I mean, I'd have sex for wings. Just saying...

3. Bring us food. It’s not about the money. But really, bringing us some grub when we’re working on something or after a long day, or even just because you cooked and had some leftovers is a really pleasant thing to do, and it makes us want to do stuff for you. It’s one of those really high ROI kinda things. like you spend $12 at the carry-out and we might buy you a car. It’s awesome like that.

Work that....quads, girl. Come...

"Work that....quads, girl. Come..."

4. Get in shape It really is a great thing to see someone get in better shape. Like it’s not just that we’re more attracted to you because you lost a couple pounds, but almost uniformly, women that pick up some exercise and tone up feel better about themselves and seem happier. It might just be the endorphin rush from all of that kickboxing, but women tend to be very self-conscious and when they look good, they feel good.

“In my experience, poor body image is the number one cause of bad sex for women,” says Dr. Hutcherson, who recently appeared on The Rachael Ray Show. “If you don’t feel good about yourself, what happens is your brain kind of leaves your body and you become a spectator. And you say ‘Oh don’t touch, don’t look at this, don’t look at that,’ and before you know it the sex is over.” In a 2009 Glamour survey, 16,000 women were asked about body image, and a full 45 percent reported feeling very or moderately unhappy with their figures.  And 71 percent said that they believe they are too fat. In addition, 70 percent of men surveyed said that a woman’s body anxieties have affected their relationship. This is bad news, because according to research published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, being preoccupied with your appearance can be a sign that your sex life is inhibited by your body image. If you secretly harbor the belief that others are turned off by your size, than your body image might be keeping you from sexual fulfillment.

No Bueno.

5. Show us something new. We like to feel like our woman is special. Part of any relationship is the give and take of sharing. And it’s pretty awesome when you can introduce us to something. Have a hobby? Maybe we’d like to go bowhunting too. Know a good restaurant? We’d like to try a new kind of food as well. Know who got that Billy Mays for the low-low? Well, that may be taking it a little far, but I always think it’s cool when a woman can introduce me to something that’s in her life. even if it isn’t necessarily something that we can share together as an activity, just knowing the unique quirks and things that make her tick brings us closer.

Taste it, savor it, vanilla ice cream, she said, ooh, my favorite

6. Swallow. Or at least catch it and spit. Real talk, we’re too old for all that amateur night shit. I know, you pow wow with your little girlfriends and they all say they don’t. Or that they’re waiting til they get married to do that. They’re lying. Because at the end of the day,getting chose to be someone’s mate is like getting chose to be on a football team. You gotta leave it all on the field if you want to make the cut. Imagine if you were about to get yours during some oral and I stopped and said “finish it off yourself.” Yeah, that’s how wack that is. But a girl that goes for it with the gusto, and wants every drop, that’s a hard thing to give up. We might even be able to overlook having to dogsit or watch one of those insufferable chick flicks you like for that.

Feel free to add your own

Comments
  1. lol. it’s late, so i’m just going to co-sign this entire list. good job.

  2. Well…since we’re all too old for the immature ish you need to let brothers know there are two sets of lips that need kissing.

    Too many grown ass men act like they can’t find their way down there….after claiming that they do…I just keep it simple: you don’t I don’t.

    Guys always act shocked as ish if you swallow (so I’ve been told;-) so it’s always a good thing to whip out a little later in the sexing part of the relationship. lol.

    • The Lioness says:

      “you need to let brothers know there are two sets of lips that need kissing”

      I second that motion. And no tentative -ish either. They need to dive in, butterfly stroke it, dog paddle, whatever.

      I digress.

      I agree with not whipping everything out in the beginning. I say keep all of your tricks in a treasure chest and pull them out one by one if he’s earned it.

  3. That pic is REAL wrong.

    You know the one of which i speak.

    Shame…lol.

  4. true2me says:

    lmao…good shyt..and it has nothing to do with JOB and STATUS and WHERE THEY LIVE..or HOW BIG THEIR BOOTY IS..LMAO…

  5. true2me says:

    and its something that women in all “categories” can do/be

  6. It saddens me that broads still need to be told this shit. & chicks are wondering why they’re still single or not having much luck…

    DENIED.

    You mean to tell me there are actually broads who don’t know the adage “catch more bees/flies with honey than with vinegar?”

    Tragedy.

    *sigh* I had to tell one of my homegirls who was reading her man constantly and stayed giving him a hard time for no particularly good reason that she should try a different approach and see if she got different results.

    Sure enough, as soon as she started being sweet to him, his reaction to her changed. I’m not advocating being someone’s punching bag, but DAMN! Taking the high road and being a “nice girl” will always give you a better class of wrinkles as you age.

    You should create a manual. “How Not to End Up Old & Bitter.”

    The Art of Swallah-ing could be its own chapter.
    On the whole, another dope piece. Kudos bruh

  7. OneChele says:

    I agree that women should not need to be reminded of the basics, but alas they do. I would also ask the ladies to find out one thing (non-sexual) that your man is really passionate about and get passionate with him. Maybe it’s sports, maybe it’s watching entourage, maybe it’s sitting on the dock of the bay pretending to fish… pick one thing go all out with him. Once you do that, get the label as “coolest girl” or “down-ass chick”, he will sit though three hours of Sex & the City with only a slight wince.

  8. The Sweetest Thing says:

    Women absolutely have to be reminded of the basics, still! You should do a reminder bi-annually in fact. Good post, and i like how ya through #6 in there, for good measure.

  9. miko says:

    what does “who got that Billy Mays for the low low” mean?

  10. The Sphinx says:

    LMAO @ #6. Good list guys.

  11. Rochelle says:

    Interesting list…don’t know about the accompanying photo–LOL!

  12. Aisha says:

    lovely post. i know i’m a month late, but eh… i’m sure you’ll accept my compliment:-)

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