Hemis, Titties, and, and Bacon: A return to Glory

Posted: February 19, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Hello all. I know it’s been a while. It might be a while before I blog again.


So “Breathe it in, n****!

Bask in it!”

I’d actually been thinking about this for a while when a certain unnamed hyper-feminist female blogger asked:

What the hell happened to alpha males? This is a serious ass problem and I can’t address it but I need answers.

Ironically enough, this is the same blogger who felt that this wonderful commercial was somewhat sexist:

There is a problem with this commercial, I’ll admit. But it’s not that it’s misogynist. It’s that they showed the bitch ass 5.7L Charger R/T instead of a real man’s Charger: A 6.1L 425HP SRT-8. That’s how you do it, son!

Another friend recently asked me to help her move some stuff because I have a rather large Sports Utility Vehicle. She said I was the only one of her male friends in DC manly enough not to drive a Honda Accord coupe. I found this extremely funny, but I think she raised an interesting point. At what point did it become taboo to become a man’s man? When did the hairy chested, mustache sporting, V8 driving, man that tells his sons to “man up and take out the garbage” become an out of vogue dinosaur?

When men were men and women knew their place

At what point did a boy’s desire to become the man above fade into the desire to become, well, these douchebags:


The worst part is, some of these people might be straight

See the difference? The guy above (The legendary Steve McQueen), now he’s a man. You see how he has his arm around his dame?

That’s protection, loyalty and love.

You know, man qualities. You see what’s going on in the second picture? I don’t either. That shit just looks like some assclowns trying to be sassy so people will pay them attention.

Now, it’s just my opinion, but I think the difference illustrates a lot of what’s wrong with black relationships today, especially in that rarefied upper crust in which I pretend to be a member. The homette Belle had an interesting post today on what the “angry and bitter black woman” is doing wrong. Well, let’s not just throw stones at the women, let’s also examine what we’re doing as men to feed into this continual mess of relationship atrophy.

1. We treat women as equals

We’ve also given too much ground to the idea that because women may be equal as colleagues at work, they’re the same as partners in relationships. They’re not. You’re the man! You open that door for that woman! You pull out her chair and you walk on the outside of the street. And stop whining that women don’t appreciate these things. You do them because it’s your fucking job, not because you want kudos. Frankly, some women may be uncomfortable at first with chivalry. That’s fine, they’ll just have to deal with it. And fear not, the woman also has woman’s work to do. If we’re going to make this work, she’d better find something thoughtful, nurturing, or delicious to contribute to the relationship. This is why relationships work. It’s not two people who are equals doing the same shit. It’s two people who complement each other bringing their own unique strengths to share with the other.

2. We have allowed style to reign over substance

From a technical standpoint, the man’s man has never really left us. There are plenty of men on any given street corner who are tough-looking, moustached, and scowling. These attributes do not a man make. Being a man is really about the hard things no one gives you credit for, not the testosterone-laced shows of force. Being a man means that when you don’t want to get wet, you still hold the umbrella over the woman. When you wan to sleep in, you still wake up to go walk the dog so she can get a few more minutes rest. Even when you’re exhausted from a long week, you still show up at Junior’s game to cheer him on. In this image-is everything world we live in, too often the temptation is to do what is necessary to look the part, but not make the sacrifices to do what needs to be done. I’m looking your way here, John Edwards.

3. We have allowed Feminism to trump Masculism

Feminism, womanism, and other iterations of such are not a bad thing. Most of their loudest promoters are somewhat annoying, but such is life. Women’s lib is just an extension of opportunity for women to achieve their dreams and their goals. Unfortunately, we still haven’t really been able to reconcile the idea of an academically and careerishly powerful woman with traditional gender roles. In many ways, this is because we’ve given ground economically to women. It’s not unlikely that if you and your mate went to similar schools and took similar career paths, she’ll make just as much as you, if not more, maybe have more degrees than you, or even be smarter. The great thing about masculism is that it renders these seemingly man-threatening issues moot. Because if you’re the MAN, it doesn’t matter whether or not your woman makes more than you. You can survive perfectly well on your own and you do what it takes to save up, work a side gig, or be a gigolo so that if need be, you can provide for another person (or persons like children).Her income or education isn’t a threat to you because you have something valuable that she can’t contribute to the relationship: Being a Man

4. We have allowed women’s petty trifles to overtake manly endeavors

Too many of us spend too much time engaging in womanly foolishness and not enough time in manly creation. The creation of wealth, empires, buildings, and organizations has since the dawn of time been man’s work. It has been our mark on the world, what we proudly show off to friend and foe alike as our legacy. Imagine Henry Ford next to his Model T or the Maharaja next to the Taj Mahal. George Washington Carver next to peanut butter. These lofty achievements were the source of their self-worth, pride, and fame. But if you look at the gentlemen above, you’ll see that pride in achievement has been overcome by pride in such womanly trifles as fashion, social popularity, and other crap. Even for lowly men of a certain time, their pride came from providing for a family, protecting their children, and ensuring that their wife had  nice dress or two so she could feel retty. Nowadays, men let their children go hungry so they can buy bottles at the club to impress idiot women. And this is a shame.

So gentlemen: embrace your manhood! Be not ashamed or shy about it. Go forth and be the man your father’s father’s father would have wanted you to be. This man:

After all, something tells me this woman doesn’t really go for the guys in skinny jeans and ironic haircuts who can’t change a tire:

Disclaimer: This post doesn’t apply to gay people. They have their own rules. So if anyone’s gay and is all like, “BSR is saying I’m not a real man”, not the case at all. Just that you’re not a real straight man. Which is probably more than fine with you, so we’re still cool. Cool?

Comments
  1. Brittany says:

    The only part of this I took issue with was the “womanly trifles” part. Those things seem like just plain ole trifles, or frivolous ones- not necessarily womanly in nature.

  2. Truth be told, that probably was a cheap shot stereotypical reference designed to inflame the passions of female readers. Good job calling me on my bullshit.

  3. Three says:

    Hello BSR,
    Long time lurker, 1st time poster.
    Just had to say damn good post today and I agree 100%. Dig’n the pictures with the commentary. Really drives home the point.

  4. Reecie says:

    “It’s not two people who are equals doing the same shit. It’s two people who complement each other bringing their own unique strengths to share with the other.”

    totally agree with this. good post. welcome back, even though you already have so much as said this post was a hit and quit! lol.

    • I was on the same thing Reecie~

      I think people take this for granted. Thanks so much for articulating it like you do. Yes, I’m one of those hard/liberated/slightly aggressive females, but in the end, I want roses, the door opened, hand holding, etc. etc. We all have to do a better part of remembering our place.
      Great post BSR.
      OG.

  5. 05girl says:

    Great post. BSR do you see these qualities in your own friends?

  6. Tunde says:

    good post. i agree with everything stated and this in particular:

    “This is why relationships work. It’s not two people who are equals doing the same shit. It’s two people who complement each other bringing their own unique strengths to share with the other.”

    AND

    “Her income or education isn’t a threat to you because you have something valuable that she can’t contribute to the relationship: Being a Man”

  7. Reina says:

    This is why I’ve missed your blogs. I have nada to add.

    “Her income or education isn’t a threat to you because you have something valuable that she can’t contribute to the relationship: Being a Man”

    Love it! Great post.

  8. Let me add my praise to the bandwagon. Great post. Definitely refreshing to see that some men still understand and respect gender roles. I’m all about equality between the sexes regarding labor but when it comes to marriage, I’m a traditionalist. Men should be men and women should be women. Kudos.

  9. So my friend sent me this blog because it reminded her of me, and I have to say I agree with all of this.

    good post man.

  10. Loved this post. So many things I liked and agreed with. Thanks for the insight!

  11. Mo says:

    My cousin sent me this article and I love it. Writer to writer and on some real shit, this points out why so many relationships fail. It’s not your man’s job to sit and cry with you, gossip with you and involve himself in your drama (if you have any). That’s what you have girlfriend for. Great piece.

  12. 05girl says:

    I thought again of this post at lunch with a coworker yesterday. She is preparing to move and noted how she couldn’t find any male friends to help. I also recently moved and have bought new furniture. I solicited help from my male “friends” to help move (not a big move, would have been done in 2 hours) and to help put together furniture…I was hard up to find help for each instance. A couple even inquired about what type of payment they would receive for such labor. Ended up getting professionals for the move and my sister will help me put together the furniture. Sure, a man may never need to come to a female for a favor such as moving or other labor-intensive things…but damned if I’m not the kind of friend who would give help if asked.

  13. JoaR says:

    clap! clap! clap! This is one of your post i just had to comment on….its definitely spot on. I just recently had a convo with a male friend of mine about these same things and you couldn’t have made them any clearer.

  14. Jurista says:

    Love this post! You’ve been added to my Reader!

  15. ebwriter says:

    Very good article!

  16. BlkBond says:

    (Que the Kanye West song “Late”) Damn. Well..it was on point. I just tire of other guys apologizing for preserving the ideal of real masculinity. Masculinity is NOT PC, I guess this why I bump heads with posters/bloggers sometimes. Fact is alot of these girls/women don’t know a real man or have never been around any and it’s a shock. I detest the skinny jeans, flamboyant generation of attention seeking boys. You are on point about their behavior. I went to a high school football game and there were only twenty or so guys on the team. I was informed that they didn’t even have tryouts. In my day guys worked out all summer, jogged, practiced, etc. just to get a spot. These guys would rather wear jersey’s and had as accessories. Aight…enough.

    Bond.

  17. ChellBellz says:

    Bravo on this article. My friends always think i’m crazy. I don’t date these days because of these reasons. I didn’t realize it until i read this article. I miss the “old fashioned” man. I can’t even put into words how great this article is…I’m about to forward this to everybody.

    When i read the first one about treating women equal I thought “here we go” but seriously…I totally get it.

    “Fact is alot of these girls/women don’t know a real man or have never been around any and it’s a shock.” Your Right @BlkBond they don’t know what it’s like. When a real man comes along I’m finding that my friends don’t know what the hell to do with them.

  18. Mark Dub says:

    First time reader. BRILLIANT POST!!!

  19. Fallible Sage says:

    This mighta changed my life. I had an awakening brah. Excellent Post!

Leave a Reply to BlkBond Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s