About Monsignor St. Randy

Who is Brandon St. Randy? Despite what you may have been led to believe by a certain foreign beer distributor, it is in fact Brandon St. Randy who is the Most Interesting Man in the World. A renegade financier, auteur, motorcar race driver, and occasional pornographer, Mr. St. Randy was born in Zamunda, where he worked as a goatherder during his formative years. Little is known of his teenage years, but after a falling out with then Crown Prince Hakeem, St. Randy joined and later rose to the position of Colonel in the Zamundan Liberation Movement (ZLM). It was at this point where St. Randy developed his affinity for large aviator shades with the image of twin burning oil fields reflected in the lenses, as well as his political leaning towards dictatorships. In 1990, at the afge of 12, backed by ZLM gunships and heavy artillery, he personally sacked the royal palace in a bloody and hard fought coup, leading to the death of King Joffe Joffa and Prince Hakeem. The traitor Semi is widely credited as providing much of the information the ZLM was able to gain about the royal family’s defences, but was later flogged in public by now President for life St. Randy and exiled. After plundering most of the country’s natural resources and mismanaging their finances, St. Randy was himself the victim of a coup in 1994, barely escaping with his life. He went into hiding in Switzerland, becoming the Chief Investment Officer of an undisclosed Swiss private bank, and dabbling in gun running and opium smuggling. After a short stint as a professional gambler and one of the world’s foremost camel racing handicappers, St. Randy moved to America, where he attended Hillman College for two years before dropping out to start a hedge fund. After numerous successful IPO’s, St. Randy went bankrupt when the internet bubble burst and a poorly timed investment in Pets.com wiped him out. Distraught, St. Randy traveled throughout the Southwest for the next two years, competing in professional drinking contests with his sidekick, the midget Horace, who was killed in a freak monster truck accident in 2002. The trail ran cold for several years after that, unto 2006 when St. Randy resurfaced in Monaco as a champion racer of double pontoon speedboats. He currently resides in the Northeast United Sates, and is putting together a vulture fund to purchase distressed assets. St. Randy enjoys falconry, pistoleering, and civil engineering in his spare time. His motto is alway be prepared and as such, is never without his pistol, $1000 equally split into dollars, pounds, and euros, and access to a fast convertible. A small photo sample of his life:

Comments
  1. icannot says:

    I like the blog a lot! Love your writing style. A friend of mine stumbled upon your blog and sent me the link. Ironically, we even use the same WPTheme. I added you to my blogroll and if you visit my site and like it feel free to do the same.

    http://www.icannotblog.com

  2. Aisha says:

    you are absolutely hilarious. i love your blog!

  3. photofemmefatale says:

    nice stuff

  4. Hilarious and Genius!

  5. miko says:

    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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