Posts Tagged ‘choosing hoes’

You must choose, Neo. Ecstasy or Special K

You must choose, Neo. Ecstasy or Special K

So I wrote a tweet the other day about choice being the ultimate luxury. And I think it’s true. I would trade the freedom to take a nice afternoon nap for a lot. Granted, I may not choose to take the nap since there are other things that are pressing sometimes, but just to have the option is awesome. I got a response back that I thought was really interesting. It said, “except when you have too many choices.”

Now, me personally, I don’t believe there’s a such thing. When I’m in the mood for some mental masturbation and  get to the Porsche website and build my perfect GT3, I have many choices. I could pick Arena Red. Or Basalt Black Metallic. How about Paint to Sample, a $5,500 option? What color should I have the wheels painted? Do I want the Carbon Fiber package or the Alcantara/Leather option? Hmm. The $550 suede sun visors perhaps. See, I like choices. Choices are good. I’ll go with Carerra White, black wheels, Sport Seats and Ceramic Brakes, thanks. I know what I want. I look at the options, click the boxes that matter to me, and am flexible on those things that aren’t that important. Something to this effect (the fuck did I start with a base price of $112K and end up at $143,000? Damn suede ball-ticklers):

Come to Butthead.

Come to Butthead.

But this choice thing isn’t for everyone. To some people, there exists a world where there are too many choices. Too many options, too many unknowns. Too many opportunities to feel like you made the wrong choice. Probably why Henry Ford was so successful at selling Model T’s. “You can have any color you want. As long as it’s black.”

And to some degree, the same can be said of dating. The truth of the matter is, we may have too many choices. What’s that, you say? You just finished the 119th consecutive Essence article about the lack of marriagable black men, and then had that view confirmed by MSNBC and The Root? Pish-tosh. While I agree with my friend F-Peezy that there is certainly an imbalance in the playing field, I think it’s also a truth that any woman can find at least one man if she so chooses. Not saying it’s easy, just that it can be done.

But I can see why it’s harder to pick when there are so many freaking options. And the stakes are so high, especially as you get older. You want to pick the right person to spend what little free time you have with.

Now your Grandpappy and Nana, your ideals of black love, see they didn’t have the same options and diversions that you have. They got to date whoever lived in their little town at the time, was of age, and wasn’t of another race. That kinda narrowed the field down pretty well.  But now, you can date anybody. You can date white, black, latino, asian, an Eskimo if you can find one. And you can date anywhere. Thanks to the magic of the internet, I can date a girl I lost touch with from college in New York who just friended me on Facebook. Or the cute friend of a friend in Atlanta who thinks my twitter feed is funny. Or some random woman who just likes this blog and lives in Boston but travels a lot and finds her way down here every couple of weeks. The options are limited only by our collective ability to finance a long distance relationship and our interest in doing so.

We also have what we may think are BETTER options. Again, thanks to the glory of the internet, we’re all superstars now. Not content with who you’re dealing with now? Well, shucks, that Facebook friend of yours seems like he’s doing pretty well, what with all those pics of him in Paris and the Bahamas. And he likes kids, judging from the fact that he says he’s a mentor. He’s probably better than that boring schlep of a dude you’re dating now, right?

Fellas, your team letting you down? They can be replaced in the span of a week with newer, younger, women! Race, class, religion? Fuhgettaboutit! The lines have ceased to exist. You can have anyone, as long as they want you. And they’re easier to find now than they’ve ever been.They may be nicer than your current chick? Give head better? Got a great chick with a subpar rack? Her big titty doppelganger is out there somewhere!

So how does one settle down without feeling like they’re “settling?” Because the reality is, no matter how awesome your person is, isn’t there a better one out there? And at what point do you say, “You know what, what I have is good enough.?” Or at what point do you say, “This isn’t making me happy, I should go out and find someone new?” And how much of that choice is dependent on the depth of the options you have? The reality of the situation is that for upwardly mobile black men and good looking black women without stank attitudes, that options list is long and deep.

I wish I could f*** every girl in the world. Oh, wait, Why cant ?

I wish I could f*** every girl in the world. Oh, wait, Why can't

So how does one choose to be in a relationship with someone, taking all of these options off the table, knowing there’s so much out there? When things get rough, how do you put in the hard work necessary to keep what you have going versus just picking up another one? Maybe too much choice is a bad thing if used improperly.

Maybe lime green

Why settle for white, I'm green. Pick me!