Posts Tagged ‘communication chronicles’

Hanh? Bitch, what?

Hanh? Bitch, what?

So I was gonna write a post on big women but SBM just covered that and frankly, I think it’s a little incendiary for the moment. I’ll get back to it when I can think of a way to discuss it out with pissing off a whole bunch of people. Also, saw the “Run this Town” video. What the fuck was that? I mean I could have directed that. Drunk. Given all the buildup, I thought that shit was gonna be the second coming of “Big Poppa mixed with some “Cherchez La Ghost”, not some Road Warrior/Escape from New York knockoff. Also, Yeezy’s verse on a Jay-Z song was the equivalent of Lebron getting dunked on at his own Summer Camp. But I digress

So I went out to McCormick and Schmick’s today and noticed a prime cut of the meat I call mixed messages. It’s a sour and rancid meat, fatty yet tough, and with no bacon-like deliciousness. I walk in, and three black professional twenty-something girls are at the bar. The first one makes googly eyes at me, and then makes some motion to her friends, because first one, then the other turns around to take a look at me. I’m flattered and all, so I wave to the first one, who I think was a little embarrassed that she’d been so obvious. I take a stroll looking for my friend, who hadn’t arrived yet, and not finding her, headed to the bar. The first girl was on the phone, so I ordered a beer and said hi to the other two. They acted like I was some wild interloper from the jungles of Africa. The one looks at me kinda snidely and then continues her convo with her friend nd the other twists her head around and then ignores me. Both were beneath my minimum standards lookwise, so I wasn’t particularly concerned, but I thought it was a little weird. As I saw my friend walking in the door, I gave it no real thought. Apparently they did, though, as they deaded their whole conversation to check her out and undoubtedly do what Belle talked about in her last blog.

So what was the point of all this? I mean clearly, when I walked in there was interest. Then there was standoffishness. And then as soon as competition came in, there was interest. This is what we call a mixed message. Now, had I been younger or had the girls been prettier, I might have been interested in what the true message was. As neither was the case, I’m not in this particular instance. But I think it’s a small illustration of one of the larger communication issues men and women have.

We say one thing, then we do another. Or we do one thing, then do something completely contradictory. I hear women say this a lot too. A guy acts like a boyfriend, but says he doesn’t want a relationship. He says he’s not still pining over his ex, but she’s all over his call log.

And women, no get out of jail card for you either. You say you don’t like a guy “like that” but you cockblock whenever another woman shows him some attention. You smile and act all coy and demure as he buys you a whole bunch of drinks and then call him a stalker when he follows you around the club.

So what’s the story here? Are we ignorant to the signals we’re giving off here? Or are we genuinely confused? Torn even? Or maybe hedging our bets. Not wanting to lay our cards on the table, do we instead resort to doublespeak and contradiction as a way to shield us from rejection? What’s the deal, folks? Are you a mixed messenger? Or a victim of mixed messagery?