Posts Tagged ‘delusions of grandeur’

You so lucky to have me

You so lucky to have me

So on the blogosphere, here’s how it typiclly works: Jackass blogger who’s as qualified to write about relationships as Osama Bin Ladin is to teach a tolerance seminar spouts off ad infinetum about what the other gender is doing wrong. Blogger throws out incindiary insults in order to get mad comments and eventually be nominated for a Black Weblogs award. Commentors respond with vitriol and anger and get into fights amongst themselves. Usually, their comments begin as such:

“Wait just a second. I’m a good black woman and….”

“This is the realest post I ever read. As one of the few good black men….”

But let’s reel this thing in for a second. What exactly do you mean by a “good black person?” And isn’t the underlying tone that the rest of the blacks are “bad.” What is it that separates you from your lazy, heathenish brethren and makes you such a catch? I specifically ask this because I often wonder, if you’re so “good”, why is it that you’re so single and yet members of your gender who you view as your inferior are booed up?

“I want to express my anger and frustration as a man with the women I feel are miseducated, misinformed, and ill-prepared about their responsibilities in getting and maintaining a relationship with a man of quality,”

says Dante Moore, author of the book, “The Re-Education of the Female.”

You can tell Im a good man from the soft lighting and my unbuttoned shirt

You can tell I'm a good man from the soft lighting and my unbuttoned shirt

“James,” is tired of women taking him for his money.  He claims he can’t find a good woman to save his life.  He b*tches and moans about how the women he dates are worthless and laments about how he could never wife any of the women ends up stumbling over.  However, James is frequently heard saying the following statements:  “I am a young and powerful professional,  I have a house, like 2 cars, I went to an Ivy League school, I have two degrees, I make like 6 figures……etc etc etc.  James is frequently heard spewing all of his resume stats somewhere during his first time meeting a new woman.  To me, it sounds like the teacher and Peppermint Patty….wooowaaawaawaaa.   James acts like he is Prince Hakim and the royal rose petal throwers from Zamunda are supposed to monitor his every move and also keep stacks of his resumes on hand to staple to his forehead  and to slap random women with his wallet upon his entrance into a room.

From our friends at P.O.S.H.

“I KNOW I am a good woman and a great catch, if I do say so myself.  No, I don’t go around qoting my stats or throwing my good woman weight around, but I know my parents raised me right and I am an asset.  Most of my friends share my qualities because you surround yourself with people you aspire to be like or who have like goals and ambitions.

I am a Christian woman, a well educated attorney, and I am  on my ish daily handling my business.  I can throw down in the kitchen, organize a dinner party in minutes, attend a Sorority or Links function, and swing a mean hammer around the house.  I listen well, communicate my issues, and try to not let my take charge personality strip a man of his hunt and gather mentality.  I understand the principle of a man running a household, which makes me a little old fashioned in my beliefs.   Which is why I said asset ladies.  ( I know I will get a few hate comments off that one).  So why are so many good women like myself single?  Because men are too caught up in their own issues and miss out.”

Men Run and Choose Lesser Candidates Because Its Easy – no matter how you swing it, only strong men are not intimimdated by a good woman who has her shit together.  If I had a dollar for everytime some man told me he felt like he couldn’t match my hustle, I could help with the bailout myself.  Men say they want a woman who cooks, is a mini mogul herself blah blah blah…but when it comes down to it, the Girl at the Gap and the one who can’t cook are easily disposed of.  Its so much harder to throw away a quality candidate…so instead men run from the qualified and languish in the land of easy and free cheeks.”

Also from P.O.S.H.

See the view? That means Im gooder than them ground floor hoes you deal with.

See the view? That means I'm gooder than them ground floor hoes you deal with.

So we’re all these great people, so much better than the riff-raff and filth who run around in relationships. So what gives? Are we having trouble communicating our hotness to other folks. Is our sales and PR staff just out to lunch? I mean why else wouldn’t people be lining up to court and sleep with us if we’re as much the shit as we say we are? Or is this just a case of Grade Inflation, like I talked about a couple weeks ago? Are the things we claim make us such a great catch really not that hot? Are we selling seatwarmers to Saudi Arabians? You tell me.