Posts Tagged ‘matrimony’

Stay Thirsty my friends. Thirsty for manwhoring

Stay Thirsty my friends. Thirsty for manwhoring

So I asked a question on Twitter the other day and I was really surprised by the answers I got.  And I think it’s a question many men my age (Late 20’s, early 30’s) are asking themselves right about now. It’s simple: Two or three more years of hardcore manwhoring or start looking for a wife. I mean, according to the good people at P.O.S.H, I’m fast approaching my expiration date.

Talented Black Man syndrome is affecting men all over America.  Many of you all believe you have all the time in the world to find the one and women are the only one with clocks .  Sorry playas, you have an expiration date too.  After awhile, your man weight starts to catch up to you and you begin to lose a little of that shiny attractive wrapper that had women throwing their panties at you harder than that Hail Mary pass during the last 10 seconds of the Superbowl.  Guess what, while counting your money and polishing the awards on your desk, you just turned into the old dude at the club.  New booty runs away from you and only gives you pity dances.

Soon apparently, my belly will have dunlapped over the dress belt on my dad jeans, my hairline will start receding, and I’ll be the old guy in the club with the leather vest doing the two step and hitting on young girls. Fortunately, that day is two to three years away (I hope). So in the meantime, what do we do? Seek out the solace, love, and comfort of finding the one? Or rip into the women of this city like Lindsay Lohan at an all you can snort buffet at a Columbian wedding?

Surprisingly, than answer I got from women: Coke buffet. Get it outta your system, they say. Much like Prince Hakeem, it seems that sowing one’s royal oats is considered a perfectly acceptable pastime in principle. But in reality, while I think it’s easy to say that they support it, for a lot of women, I think the reality isn’t as cut and dried as they think. As I’ve seen on the blogs lately, there’s a lot of frustration about the lack of available marriage-able men, and the list is always as follows:  “either gay, in jail, or a manwhore.” So to some degree I don’t know that manwhoring wouldn’t be a slight slap in the face to these lovely women who dream of bridezilla like weddings and blinding their jealous friends with their emerald cut engagement ring.

And yet, no one wants to go into a lifelong commitment feeling like they missed out. And the truth of the matter is, if I were to get married tomorrow, I would be giving up the excitement, variety, and thrill of dating multiple people. Obviously, for the right woman, it’s a fair compromise. But I doubt any woman would really want to go into a marriage with me if she thought in the back of her mind, “he really would rather be hanging from the rafters in Vegas, with no shirt on in the club, spraying the crowd with overpriced champagne.”

I’ve said often part of the reason men my age face this question as opposed to women is just the developmental cyce. Because women peak earlier, they get through the attention whore phase (hopefully) earlier. When they’re 22 and 23, the world’s their oyster and everyone wants them. The old heads are buying you tables at the club, taking you shopping in Miami, and generally letting you live the good life. With us, it ain’t until we’re in our late 20’s that we’re really desired and admired. Once we’ve hit terminal education and have some dough and some accomplishments, that’s when we’ve officially “arrived.” So I think some of the frustration women have with the cycle is just a timing mismatch. Women wonder why we’re enjoying a lifestyle they burned through two years ago. Well, simple, we haven’t gotten our chance yet for the most part.

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Now doesn’t that look like fun? I mean, think about it, I’m pretty sure Beyonce is glad that Jay went through that period so he could put it behind him. And now after enjoying himself with disposable video models of all stripe, dot, and feather, he’s settled down with the one he truly wants (or who offers the best power couple dynamics, whatever). Of course, there’s a flip side to the manwhoring argument. Obviously, people succeed at what they focus on. So while focusing on manwhoring, it might be very possible to walk right past “the right one” because the “one right now” has no panties on and a come-hither glance. Worse, while racking up the numbers, the right one may decide that you’re an eternal manwhore and shut the door to future settling down. Or you may fuck her cousin, and that’s always awkward.

So what to do, people, what to do. Choose carefully, as your answer may determine the fate of all men.

Me likey the beach wedding

Me likey the beach wedding