Posts Tagged ‘party’

So today is my 31st Birthday. Itactually view the 31st birthday as bigger than the 30th. 30 is kind of like an outpost of your 20’s. An overtime, if you will. But when you hit 31, you’re IN your 30’s. Like when people write about me in the Financial Times, the Wall Street Journal, or the Butt & Gun Enthusiast Quarterly, they’ll use phrases like:

“Brandon St. Randy, already a hero to millions in his young 30’s further cemented his status as a degenerate this weekend in Monaco when he…”


“Renegade financier Brandon St. Randy’s assets were seized by the federal government for the fourth time despite the fact that he’s only in his early 30’s…”


“Despite being in his early 30’s, Monsignor St. Randy was still trying to pick up 18 year old girls last week at the annual Fuquay Varina Watermelon festival…”

Nonetheless, like Prince Hakeem when he got off the plane, “I am very happy to be here!” So since I won’t be able to celebrate with all of you, I wanted to allow you to get a taste for what my birhtday party would look like in video form. I have selected the videos from my teens which when I watched, I thought to myself, “That’s the party I wanna be at!” These were the scenes of sophistication, cool, and debauchery to which I attempted, usually in vain, to pattern my life after. Enjoy and freel free to post your own

1. Spacehog, In the Meantime

This is just delightfully weird. The people look so hip and disinterested. I love it. Also, the bassline is bad as hell.

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2. Incubus, Are You in

Are you kidding me? This has that perfect combination of kooky sense of humor and sexiness. It’s been a while since hot ethnic girls licked cake off my face. I’ll have to do better this summer.

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3. Jimmy Eat world, The Middle

Who hasn’t been a little shy about taking it all off at a lingerie party? Rhetorical question, I’m shhameless and thus shyness does not fit into the equation. I know this video has a deeper meaning about estrangement and social ostracization, but my favorite is the fat dude with the tighty whiteys at about 1:15. He rocks!

4. Ghostface Killah, Cherchez La Ghost

Fuck what ya jeard, this where Little X went from being a Hype Williams clone to a grown man. I love the hangover theme with everybody knocked out and empty bottles of Clicquot everywhere. Reminds me of my middle school days. And Gloria Velez? Shit.

5. En Vogue, Don’t Let Go

I think this is what everyone thinks their life is going to be like when they move to New York. Before they end up working 70 hours a week to afford a 300 square foot studio that smells like chinese food and cigarettes in a bad part of town. No penthouse, no view of the Empire State building, no Dawn looking right. Damn shame.

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6. Notorious B.I.G. Big Poppa

I wanted to LIVE in the club after I saw this the first time. I was also like 14 or 15, so it seemed like a good idea at the time. The dude with the process and the three inch gap is my man!

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I purposely left off some of more the obvious ones. Excuse Me Miss almost made the cut, but then so did like 7 other Jay-Z videos, these were just the ones that really stuck out to me.