Posts Tagged ‘Wendy Atterberry’

Morning, folks. If you want to know why I’ve been so inconsistent lately, it’s because I finished up my thesis last week, and now am moving, so I’ve been flipping between Boston, DC, and NYC. Also, I’m now a Master of Science, so I’m prepared to lord my education over everyone now. I’m going to start conversations with, “Well, as a Master of Science, ….” And I’m going to add it to the back of my name on my facebook profile. “You have received a friend request from Brandon St. Randy, M.S.” I may have my degree tattooed on my back, I’m not sure yet.

Im too sexy for myself, too sexy for my self, too sexy by farrrrr...

I'm too sexy for myself, too sexy for my self, too sexy by farrrrr...

In any case, we’ve been talking about marriage for a couple weeks or so now, but I want to get back into the single life, since that’s where I assume most of my readers live. I came across an interesting article in CNN the other day titled “Is narcissism keeping you single?” by Wendy Atterbery. I think it’s particularly appropriate to our little social group. As I’ve said before a million times, black Americans are the most narcissistic, self-aggrandizing people in the known world. Humility is just not one of our character flaws. Listen to our popular music. Every song on the radio contains some reference to the artist’s tightness, bankroll, sex game, or general grandiosity. Obviously, our long history of oppression and dehumanizing has something to do with this, as well as our legacy of shame about our entrenched poverty levels, but when they free Skip Gates, I’ll let him speak on that. And this celebrity obsession with letting everyone know how sweet you are has filtered down into the world of regular people. A snippet from the article:

Apparently, they’re all just a bunch of narcissists. In an article on The Daily Beast this week, writer Hannah Seligson, explores this theory, writing: “narcissism, even in small doses, has shifted courtship into a high-stakes relationship culture.

Now that people think more highly of themselves, expectations of what a relationship should be like have skyrocketed into the realm of superlatives.

Twentysomethings not only expect to waltz into high-level career positions right out of college, they also expect partners who have the moral fortitude of Nelson Mandela, the comedic timing of Stephen Colbert, the abs of Hugh Jackman, and the hair of Patrick Dempsey.”

Sound like anyone you know? Franky, I blame social media. First Black Planet, then Myspace, then Facebook, and now Twitter has effectively turned everyone¬† on the plane into their own little reality show. These sites are no longer just mediums to keep up with friends and share pictures, they’re online advertising for “your personal brand.” The fact that you may not be selling anything tangible is irrelevant, you’re selling a dream. You’re selling a vision of yourself as attractive, successful, witty, fly, an e-gangster, whatever. The point being, you control your message. And in doing so, this gives people the opportunity to inflate those qualities that they think other people will respond to, and hide the fact that they live with their parents, have no job prospects, have halitosis, etc. At some point, I really think people start drinking their own kool-aid and start thinking that they are who they’ve invented themselves to be. VSB did a good post the other day on How to seem more important than you really are. It was in jest, of course, but there was definitely some truth to it.

The problem is, hile kool-aid may taste sweet, it rots your teeth and isn’t very satisfying. Man can’t live off kool-aid alone. He needs meat and potatoes. The funny thing about most self-aggrandizing peope is the plethora of problems they have in relationships. A lot of this is directly related to the fact that they’ve built up an idea of themselves that doesn’t square with the facts and other people realize this at some point. It also mans that since they think they’re so tight, their expectation is that their partner is going to be just as tight as they think they are. Since the partner has probably inflated their own GPA pretty significantly, both parties end up being frustrated because they feel like they were sold a bill of goods. It’s totally not conducive to creating a realistic lasting relationship.

So allow me to take you down a notch and let me give you some advice on how to have more meaningful relationships.

Title: Socialite/ Bottle Popping girl

Twitter About me: (Some city’s)’s 2nd Most Influential Young Socialite. Fashion Head. SNOB. (Some college) graduate. Hill Staffer. And I’ve lived in Monaco, yes, Monaco. How’s your life?

M.O. These girls (and actually the above was written by a guy) are people who have chosen to inflate their GPA’s via social status, usually related to nightlife or some tertiary connection to the entertainment industry. They usually pay a lot of attention to fashion and spend most of their discretionary income on clothes that will be out of style next month and drinking, preferably bottle service so everyone can see them. They say things like “Oh, I never wait in line,” “I’m always in VIP,” and “Every time I walk in the club, they get mad.” The problem is that as they’ve chosen to spend the majority of their efforts on extremely flighty, surface-oriented pursuits, they don’t really have anything to offer but what social status they have. So they naturally attract shallow, social climbing members of the opposite sex. And then complain about it.

The Solution: most people grow out of this shit naturally. To some degree, this is just an early-mid-twenties phase, and there’s nothing you can really do with people like this until they get tired of the thrill of being accepted by peope they don’t really know, or have finally proven to themselves that they’re worthy. As Real Housewives of Atlanta has shown us, some people just never learn.

Title: Model

Twitter About Me: NY/Atlanta/ATL/London (word? You have homes in 4 cities?)The baddest chick in the modeling game. Im Puerto Rican, Italian,French, Black & Jewish! (Anything but all black). There should be 2 of me :

M.O. These are just youngish (acting. Some of these broads are in reality a little long in the totth for this bullshit) chicks and dudes who typically have pretty mundane day jobs but use their ass and tits (or abs and arms) to inflate their GPA. The problem is, they typically get a lot of attention from dudes who really just want to bone ’em, and they think this attention should equare into success in their relationships. Of course it doesn’t, because not that many quality dudes want to wife a chick who sends out 15 twitpics a day of her oiled up in a bikini pushing her ta-tas together and licking her lips.

The Solution: Simple. Quit that shit. Everyone’s vain, and it’s nice to have pictures that represent your best features, but unless you’re a percent of a percent of women, you’re not going to be a successfu model. You’ll get a spread in Straight Stuntin’ magazine and a couple calls to do the next Lil Boosie video, but that’s about it. There’s really no money to be made in this particular field. So what you’r doing is driving off quality men or women in favor of people who just want to screw you. You can’t even be mad when that’s what happens, because that’s what you’re selling

Title: Mr./Mrs. Overeducated

Twitter About me: Blank. They joined but never followed up

M.O. This person believes that because of their stellar academic achievements, they are a catch. They went to xxxxx Law school, Business School, Ph.D program, you should not only respect their mind, you should want them, need them even. And not only that, but if you do want them, you’d better have gone to an equivalent or greater school if you want to get some of their time. Problem: This is important in the professional world. Doesn’t really impact personal chemistry that much. it can be impressive when you meet someone, but after that, you’re still the same person as the guy or girl who went to University of Phoenix. Me and my peoples were at Ozio one time and there was a table of really cute chicks sitting next to us. they were all kind of chilly toward us, until the girl said very proudly that she went to Harvard Law School. My boy at the time was at Georgetown Law, and as soon as they heard that and the fact that I knew a bunch of her classmates, the whole tone of the convo changed. At this point though, we were a bit turned off, so when they wanted to exchange info, we politely declined.

The Solution: Realize that no one cares that much. You should be proud of your educational achievements. But perspective, please.

Title: Brofessional

Twitter About me: Uh, I don’t do Twitter. I’m on Linkedin, thanks

M.O. These are the people that are their business card. The homey JAJ once told me about a friend of her friends who was the world’s biggest dick. When someone introduced themselves to him, he’d respond “first name, last name, Trader, Goldman Sachs.” Another female friend of mine met a guy once who when he found out she worked at JP Morgan spent the night discussing whether she worked “in a profit center or a cost center.” isten to Tyler Durden people: You are not your job. You are not your khakis.

The Solution: Bring it down.

Title: Boss Baller

Twitter About Me: I run (insert town here). We gittin’ dis money!

M.O. Do I even really have to describe this kind of fuckery?

The grand point about a this is that if you see yourself or your friends in the above descriptions, and are having difficulties forming legitimate bonds with people, take a step back. Sometimes the things we do to prove to others that we’re worthy of heir love and affection only make us look like dickheads. It’s not the end of the world. We can all embrace a little more humility, and take more time to learn about other people and share their joys and less time telling other people how great we are. we’ll all be happier for it. With that , I’ll leave you with a cautionary video of what to not be like: an Assclown

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Here’s the link to the CNN article