8 Reasons to Date a White Woman (The Remix)

The pic from the blog. Look at sad ass buddy in the back while Darth Whitey takes his woman. And probably his farmland too.

The following article written by one LaShaun Williams was posted on a website called Madame Noire yesterday. Like all the bad things in the world, this was brought to my attention by the twitter. Here’s the link (It doesn’t appear on the home page anymore, undoubtedly because of the response, and the front page of the article gives an error message but this still might work. )

Read Madame Noire article here

Text:

I am married to a Black man—dark-skinned, 100 percent cocoa. To me, there is nothing more physically beautiful on this earth. Notice I said physically. Outside of that, there are plenty of more financially, intellectually and emotionally stable options. It’s time to taste the unknown. There are just too many—too many bright and beautiful single Black women waiting for their Black prince charming, only to see more and more of them riding off with their porcelain-skinned beauties.

My question is what are you waiting for—a baby and no ring? Black men are obviously seeing a lot in others they like. As an open-minded woman, I can tell you from experience some things about white are right. In no particular order, here are the reasons you should be giving vanilla a chance.

1. They open wide instead of down low

Gay White men tend to be more forthcoming about their sexuality with family and friends. The down low phenomenon is less prevalent, which preserves the battery usage on your gaydar and relieves the stress of dissecting every male relationship.

2. Not looking for someone to take care of them

Thanks to the absence of family, fathers and marriage in the Black community, a great number of our men have backward expectations when it comes to romantic relationships. A higher percentage of White men come from stronger family structures and more traditional gender roles, where the men seek to care for the women.

3. Attend and graduate from college

Black women are graduating from college and Black men continue to drop out. As a result, degrees become intimidating when dating Black men. In White culture, education is valued and expected. Thus, White men have no problem dating educated women with advanced degrees. It is impressive rather than intimidating.

4. At least attempt to marry before making babies

For whatever reason, White men just don’t have children sprinkled all over the world like Black men. And, if they do, most of them were married to the mother at some point. Sure, they divorce but you can only divorce if you at least attempt a marriage.

5. They don’t glamourize ignorance

They may listen to rap music, but they are smart enough not to act it out. The “thug life” is not something to be aspired. White men have a firmer grasp on what really defines manhood.

6. Financial planning and stability

Black people, especially men, are always trying to shine—often spending more money than they have. White men tend to be more educated in the area of finance with a greater understanding of retirement planning, savings, investments, etc. This is mostly due to a higher level of exposure and teaching, but all that matters is they know and make better decisions than Black men when it comes to managing money.

7. Have the ability to look beyond your past

Ever wonder why White people can date the friends of exes and so on? It’s because they don’t let the past hinder the present. Promiscuous Black men think they deserve to settle down with virgins, and allow past relationships to haunt the present. Not White men. They have no problem turning a hoe into a housewife.

8. Don’t take everything as a challenge to their masculinity

Intimidation and insecurity are two reasons for the rift between Black men and women. As a result of their insecurities and low self-esteem, Black men are intimidated by the strength of an educated and ambitious Black woman. Rather than seeing her as a strong teammate, she is a threat to their manhood. Thus, they feel the need to overcompensate. White men, on the other hand, are more secure. What Black men see as threatening is what makes a great wife and business partner to them.

Fair enough. Everyone knows the negro male is a degenerate. Not worth anyone’s time, really. Fortunately for us, you black women ain’t shit either. Allow me to show you eight ways why White Women are clearly your superiors.

1. They open wide. And swallow

Unlike you non dick-sucking black women, the white woman will take cock to the face like a porn star. While you reserve your dry and toothy head for birthdays and anniversaries, she’s ready to slurp up that baby gravy on demand.

Ma, I been hugging the block...hustling rock..

2. They ain’t fat like y’all!

Erbody know all black women are fat. All of em. And if they ain’t fat now, they’re one donut away. Not like the nice white woman, who’s always in the gym, making sure to keep that ass curve free. Smelling like delicious pine-sol and granola chips. mmmhhhh.

Nice Svelte Norweigan Goddesses

3. They’re classy!

Unlike you ghetto trash, the white woman knows how to act in public. She’s genteel, kind, and not a criminal like you all. She doesn’t sit around smoking Newports and eating chicken boxes all day:

Shouts to LiLo

4. They love black people!

Unlike you ungrateful, self-loathing no good so and so’s, the white woman has a great big heart that seeks to heal divides and create peace. She would never do no shit like throwing acid on herself and saying a darkie did it

Um, the suspect? Black between 150 and 300 lbs. definitely black though. maybe 4'11"-7'3", in that range somewhere?

5. Their white male friends do too!

I love you porch mo...uh porch monsoons. I love porch monsoons. Except for those jewish ones. Don't much care for them

6. They go to Good White Schools for book learning!

Always tryna be liek the white woman and go to school. SMH

7. They ain’t Gold-diggers like y’all!

Always trying to take what little a brother has. A white woman would never date someone just cause they’re rich or an athlete, bless their pure hearts.

8. And most of all, they got nice pretty shapes!

Unlike you horrible black women with your big old butts

Ionno if that's a man or a woman, but I like it!

*If perhaps you’re a total idiot, I’ll note for you that this post is what we call sarcasm. Lookit. I don’t have a problem with black women dating outside the race. I don’t even have a problem with black women encouraging other black women to date outside the race. Do you. But why it seems like every proponent of interracial dating for black women seems to want to do it by denigrating and stereotyping black men is beyond me. No one needs you to justify your choices in love. Unless you yourself aren’t comfortable with them. If so, that’s your problem. But keep my mothafucking name out of your mouth while you’re doing it.

Eddie! Why you treat me like animuhl??!!

How you doing?

Welp. So Eddie Long, pastor at New Birth Missionary Church, one of the country’s biggest megachurched has been accused of being sexually inappropriate with a couple of young mens.

read story here

Am I personally surprised? Not one goddamned bit. Now, I don’t now if Pastor Eddie touched those boys wrongly about the butthole. Probably the only people who do know are the pastor himself and the two accusers in question.

The sad part of this however, is that no one’s surprised. We’ve become so accustomed to malfeasance on the part of super-religious people that it’s almost par for the course. Between Donny McClurkin’s homosexuality and Kirk Franklin’s porn addiction, the motto seems to be “do what I say, not what I do. Cause, me, I get it in.”

That said, those in his church and who generally support these tight suit wearing, Bentley driving prosperity pimps have circled the wagons to defend the pastor. And what else do you expect. These guys have long since ascended from being “men of the lord” to suburban rock stars. And like rock stars, they have a profound effect on people. A friend of mine tweeted how she was depressed, despondent, and suicidal before she started going to New Birth and it was his interpretation of the scriptures that she feels saved her life. As you might expect, she’s come out to voiciferously denounce the accusers and defend a man she feels has helped her spiritually. I can dig it.

What I can’t dig is a man of extreme power and influence using his power to engage in sexual relationships with dudes that are under a mentee relationship with him. If the allegations are true (and I’m not saying they are), that’s an amazing breach of trust and duty. you can’t have it both way, fanatical Christians. You can’t on one hand scream “Touch not my anointed” and in the same breath hedge your bets by saying “we all have sin within us.” Yes, we know your pastor is charismatic. Yes, you have this wild-eyed idea that God himself somehow picked this dude out of everybody else to deliver his word, and not that he just chose that career. But what he’s accused of is repugnant. And victim blaming is not the business here.

But unfortunately, we’re gonna see a lot of it because of this stranglehold the church and religion has on the black community. I said stranglehold. Not important place in supporting the community, not appropriate spiritual place, stranglehold. And Bishop Long is a perfect representative of that stranglehold. Black people (often one step away from economic disaster themselves) go to his church every Sunday to give what few dollars they have in the vain hope that they will be “blessed” with riches. Which last time I checked is completely antithetical to the life and work of Jesus Christ. I’m not suggesting you can’t find a verse in the bible talking about people being blessed with gold and land and Bentleys and shit. But I think if that’s your spiritual motivation, you’re a fucking idiot.

God meant me to push a Bentley. me and Sean Combs taking boys home

Unfortunately, because you’re dealing with a cohort that has been so economically deprived, you’re gonna get a lot of fucking idiots. And some of that idiocy is rooted in need. If you’re a poor or almost poor person who sees no real way up the economic ladder, it has to be extremely tempting to hear a man in a $3,000 suit hopping out of a private jet say “hey, give some money and prayer to Jesus, and you can get paid too. Worked for me!”

Creflo Dollar's Wayne Mansion house

Now back to the young mens. That exact promise of prosperity is exactly what they accuse the Bishop Eddie of exploiting to get them to put some dick in his life. He bought them cars, took them on private jets around the world, introduced them to stars and celebrities. He did the same shit a rapper does to fuck a video model. And my guess is, they took the bait. No one’s saying Eddie raped anybody. Or forced anyone to do anything. Eddie, according to the accusations, just dangled the carrot. And to young men who probably didn’t have that much, it was worth it to take the stick to get these things.And about those loud condemnations of homosexuality from the good Bishop: I mean come on, anyone that interested in talking about homo stuff all the time is probably interested in maybe trying it out a little. Just the tip maybe. I’ll spare you all the black church’s blanket hypocrisy on homosexuality. There’s just not a lot there to say anymore.

But don’t worry too much. If Eddie Long really is a sexual predator, he’s smart enough to choose the right people to prey on. We’re talking people with “credibility issues.” Maybe a history of criminal activity or theft or something else. Like burglary. And eventually, the heat will get too hot, and he’ll be exonerated. It is what it is. Until the next time. Enjoy megachurch, folks. Hope that 10% tithe comes back at ya!

Health Care, Culture, responsibilty, Gold teeth, & racism

May or may not be Dr. Jones

This Letter to the Editor, written by Doctor Jones about health care in America, is from the August 29^th edition of Jackson, Mississippi’s newspaper, the Clarion Ledger.

(Caveat: There’s some discussion as to whether the Doctor pictured is in fact the same doctor that wrote the op ed)

Dear Sirs:

During my last night’s shift in the ER, I had the pleasure of evaluating a patient with a shiny new gold tooth, multiple elaborate tattoos, a very expensive brand of tennis shoes and a new cellular telephone equipped with her favorite R&B; tune for a ring tone.

Glancing over the chart, one could not help noticing her payer status: Medicaid.

She smokes more than one costly pack of cigarettes every day and, somehow, still has money to buy beer. And our President expects me to pay for this woman’s health care?

Our nation’s health care crisis is not a shortage of quality hospitals, doctors or nurses. It is a crisis of culture – a culture in which it is perfectly acceptable to spend money on vices while refusing to take care of one’s self or, heaven forbid, purchase health insurance.

A culture that thinks I can do whatever I want to because someone else will always take care of me.

As you might expect, this letter has gone viral and become something of a lightning rod for the opinions of people on both sides of the political (and frankly, racial) spectrum.

Now, one of the first assumptions everyone makes of course, is that this patient is black and that there’s a racial undertone to this whole thing. I mean, come on, expensive tennis shoes, multiple tats, R&B ringtone, gold teeth. All you’d need would be multiple strangely named children along to complete the Grand Slam of Stereotypes.

Do I think there’s a racial undertone to this? Yes. I know it’s unpopular in this country to point out things that MAY represent racial stereotyping, discrimination, etc. Effectively, you have to show up burning a cross with a T-Shirt that says “I hate Darkies” before someone will try and form an alternate explanation about how “it’s not about race, it’s about (insert big government, personal responsibility, socialism, values,etc…). In my PERSONAL OPINION, as I don’t know this guy and haven’t learned to read minds yet like more advanced Jedi, I believe the choice of descriptors was made in order to ensure that the reader developed a mental image of the person as black.

We’re supposed to think of them:

Ghetto

Not them:

Not ghetto

What strikes me as most interesting about the discussion is the diverse opinions of Black People themselves. Because in truth, this is a conversation, we often have among ourselves. If this was a Black doctor, this would be a different conversation. Many more of us would nod our heads, and say, yup, we gotta do better. Others would argue that this hypothetical black doctor was “airing our dirty laundry” and furthering negative stereotypes.

But because he’s white, the natural tendency is to circle the wagons. And truthfully, there’s a lot wrong with this op-ed. To suggest that health care costs in America are out of control simply because someone buys expensive tennis shoes isn’t something I think most reputable Doctors or health care professionals would ascribe to. The smoking, certainly you have a point there. But this really wasn’t about that.

What it was about was a veiled attack at a “culture.” The doctor never mentioned what the woman’s ailment was, or if it had anything to do with her smoking. We don’t know if she was in there for asthma or emphysema or because she had had skinned her knee.

What we know is that the doctor took issue with her having material things, which judging bu her lack of health insurance, suggested that she couldn’t really afford them and that her priorities were out of order. That she was irresponsible, and because of that irresponsibility, partly to blame for many of the other ills in this country.

And I frequently take issue with this. I see people buying bottles in clubs who can’t afford to live by themselves. People who are in hock to their ears in credit card and student loan debt but have Gucci purses the size of a tent. And let’s face it, they kind of look like me. It’s very easy to attack this kind of blanket materialism, but as one commenter said, people spend money on things that they feel will get them results.

She live wit her muh-va

None of us individually create a a mainstream culture. We live in it, and we choose the depths to which we’ll participate, opt out, or find another cultural group to deal with. And we live in a culture that often has some fairly perverse incentives for behavior which may or not be functional.

A selection of comments I read on Facebook:

JB: I agree…the racist language/viewpoint is much more than undertones in this letter! I do get frustrated when people spend endlessly on luxuries without greater insight into how that affects the entire community….but that spans more than mere “gold teeth” and “R & B” ringtones! There are plenty of other financial irresponsible folks out there—hello, housing/banking crisis!

CB: I agree that his letter is racist, but I have to kind of agree with him on some points. I used to work at Chicago’s section 8 office and I saw this every day. It does eat away at your spirit. Add the fact that I often see a young mother pu…rchase Cheetos for HER CHILD with an EBT card when I’m at Walgreen’s or similar and you’re pouring gas all over the fire. Do I mind that my tax dollars are going towards helping the less fortunate get food? No. Am I embittered about paying for this (almost always) teenage single mom pass on bad dietary habits to her child? Hell yes. I feel that the EBT cards should be coded so that you can’t use them to buy junk.

A better, less elitist letter would examine the reasons we need to reinstate health classes in American schools so that kids learn the value of good nutrition and exercise so that they don’t repeat their parents’ mistakes and stay out of that MD’s emergency room.

DH: I know, his post makes us doctors look bad! Being able to afford a gold tooth and some fashion accessories does not mean that that person can afford a monthly health insurance payment. Our society does not allow people to easily cross the line from total poverty (welfare/medicaid) to a self-sufficient life-style. All of a sudden all benefits are gone and payments make it impossible to meet all the needs.

TW: I can’t front, I kinda agree with dude. I see countless kids in my classroom decked out to the nines, but who are receiving all types of aid. #noshade but umm….really?

What’s your take? Reckless racism, or a timely commentary on a pressing issue?